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the daily show. >> >> the guest president of united states barack obama is on the film the new star of here comes the boom. listen, the election is in three weeks and in key emerging demographic this time around are a group. i hope i'm pronouncing this right, women. they have concerns. >> there were a lot of women. abortion, contraception, women's pay as i mentioned -- some might argue was obvious pa obvious pa women >> jon: to discuss issues they think about? but not that it mattered anyway because apparently during the debate the ladies had already left the building. >> it was just too much to talk like two roosters going at each other. it can turn off women. >> one thing women voters don't like is an a bully. >> a turn-off for women. >> i'm not sure they'll be turned on by this debate. >> lots of women turn off. >> i'm wondering if suburban women were turned off. [laughter] >> jon: not that that's a bad thing because as far as i can tell they've been a little hopped up on this thing. [laughter] way too long. for on women's reaction i'm joined by senior debate analyst, samantha be
on the campaign we miss interesting stories. >> the united states anti-doping agency has released what it calls overwhelming evidence that seven time tour de france winner lance armstrong doped throughout his professional cycling career. 1,000 pages of evidence and sworn statements by 26 people including 11 of his former teammates. the usada called it the most sew fist dated and proacialized doping -- professionalized doping program the sport has ever seen. >> jon: take that other doping programs. u.s.a.! u.s.a.! my god suddenly i'm mussolini. [ laughter ] of course, armstrong for years has denied the alleges. has honesty fallen through the cracks in america? lewis black is here with more "back in black." [cheers and applause] >> what the hell is wrong with lance armstrong? everybody who has ever known him says he was doping. everybody who ever rode with him, everybody who ever slept with him, everybody who jammed a needle in his tank. they all say he was doping. but not lance. >> after a decade of fighting with the united states anti-doping agency professional cyclist lance armstrong has given
] unbelievable. anyway, it's been a big week. on thursday we had on the president of the united states. what happened was, and this is the truth, goldie hawn had been scheduled. [laughter] a last-minute conflict. so since the president was already in town for a previously scheduled traffic logjam, he stopped by for a 12-minute, you know, [bleeped], featuring all the standards, solid biden in a wet bathing suit gag, a couple, where the hell were you in the first debate zingers. yeah, those are real, baby. good old housing happen. reference, a smattering of some sober reflection, as well, concerning libya. i would say even you would admit it was not the optimal response, at least to the american people as far as us all being on the same page. >> well, here's what i'll say. >> jon: yeah? >> if four americans get killed, it's not optimal. >> jon: guess which part of that lit up the conservative media complex? biden. no, that's not right. not right. ah, it was hash tag "not optimal." by 10:00 p.m.'s "on the record" with greta van susteren, senator john mccain expressed his deep and in no way oppo
-shaking announcement he had been promising. he offered the president of the united states a charity gift of $5 million if the president would release his college transcripts. i believe we have the footage of the announcement of trump making it... [laughter] yeah, oh, wait a second. you know what, i'm sorry. i'm sorry. that wasn't donald trump trying to publicly extort the president of the united states. that was a gorilla eating its own [bleeped]. my apologies. [cheering and applause] i don't know how that... that was weird. anyway, sarah palin chimed in, accused the president of "shucking and jiving." yeah, her words, "shucking and jiving" about libya. let's take a look at her statement. oh, wait. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. that's... huh. huh. i apologize. that was a hippo spraying its own [bleeped] through its tail. again, i... i don't know how i ended up confusing these images. look, let's face facts, we're tired as hell of covering all of these important electoral developments anyway. so tonight we thought we'd focus on a different, perhaps more interesting topic. to that end, we will have on as our gu
of the united states just three hours later. >> i don't want to speak to something until we have all of the information. what we do know is that the natural protests that arose because of the outrage over the video were used as an excuse by extremists to see if they can also directly harm u.s. interests. >> jon: so do you guys talk to each other or -- i mean, for god's sake hillary clinton got the memo. >> what happened in benghazi was a terrorist attack. >> jon: so let's try again in a safer space. >> i heard hillary clinton say that it was an act of terrorism. is it? what do you say? >> well, we are still doing an investigation. there is no doubt that the kind of weapons that were used, the ongoing assault that it wasn't just a mob action. >> jon: and? and if it wasn't just a mob action but not an act of terrorism either, what does that leave? what, libyan st. patrick's day? what is going on? a quinceanera that got out of hand? now a cynic would argue he is unwilling to admit the embassy was hit by terrorists because it would make him look back. but maybe it is honest confusi
of the united states, he's our worst at foreign policy. >> this is a very weak ill-conceived foreign policy. every place you look is failure. >> the jimmy carter years look like the good old days compared to where we are right now. >> the president has communicated weakness. >> jon: weakness in foreign policy! obama is weaker than coolidge in foreign policy! weaker than polk! weaker than president flinchington j. craphispants. (laughter) as you know, the only president in united states history who ever had his wallet stolen by a baby. (laughter) you don't hear as much about old president craphispants. (laughter) but given obama's foreign policy record, this debate is going to be a bloodbath. >> i congratulate him on taking out osama bin laden. drones are being used in drone strikes and i support that entirely. and feel the president was right. i want to underscore the same point the president made. i felt the same as the president did. i supported his action there. absolutely the right thing to do to have crippling sanctions. (cheers and applause) >> jon: i think romney's leaning obama! (la
. craphispants. (laughter) as you know, the only president in united states history who ever had his wallet stolen by a baby. (laughter) you don't hear as much about old president craphispants. (laughter) but given obama's foreign policy record, this debate is going to be a bloodbath. >> i congratulate him on taking out osama bin laden. drones are being used in drone strikes and i support that entirely. and feel the president was right. i want to underscore the same point the president made. i felt the same as the president did. i supported his action there. absolutely the right thing to do to have crippling sanctions. (cheers and applause) >> jon: i think romney's leaning obama! (laughter) apparently romney is one of this year's coveted swing voters. look, how closely did mitt romney align himself with what had, i guess up until last night, been the worst foreign policy ever? listen to these guys duet on syria. >> i believe that assad must go. >> assad has to go. >> i don't want to have our military involved in syria. >> for us to get more entangled militarily in syria is a serious step. >
's currently the president of these united states. please welcome back to the program, president barack obama. [cheers and applause] >> how are you? >> i'm good, how are you? good to see everybody. good to see you. >> jon: how are you? >> i'm doing great. before i do anything else i have to acknowledge we have amazing women warriors. we have a whole crew of veterans, i had nothing to do with this. the uso wanted to bring them here and a want everybody to give them a big round of applause. >> i do want to ask you this. i'm putting a scrapbook of the whole 2012 campaign and i have these great pictures from the two debates but i don't know which debate their from so if you could -- >> all right. >> jon: i have two pictures. there's one picture. i'll have you get that and there's the other picture. i'm wondering -- [laughter] >> jon: could you tell me -- >> see that? >> jon: i don't know if i have the -- do you know which debate was which? >> cute, jon. >> jon: what happened? did you feel -- here's what happens to me sometimes. sometimes i go on stage and i'll have an open-faced turkey sandwich a
. not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for, and god bless the united states of america. >> jon: we'll be right b (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome back, my guest host of the fox news channel riley factor. his new book called killing kennedy, the end of camelot please welcome back mr. bill o reilly. -- (cheers and applause) >> so must have been nice times to see fox news videos last night. do you think there will be a fox news obama debate baby boom for all the -- >> whatever dow mean, stewart. >> jon: were you guys excited back there. >> were we guy, i mean are we all the same? is that what you are implying here? >> jon: yeah, were you guys-- (laughter) all right, let's talk about your book s what, killing kennedy. >> correct. >> jon: and this is, i am assuming you are confessing to something in here. >> not me. >> jon: this is your second book, killing lincoln. >> killing lincoln was a huge success. still on the-- (laughter) >> jon: i see. >> you know. >> jon: hum il sit an important quality in an author. (laughter) >> it's on the best-seller list for 54
, mitt romney's closing arguments. >> the government of the united states is not a good venture capitalists, he likes to pick winners and losers, about $90 billion in green energy companies like solyndra and tess la a friend of mine says he doesn't mind picking winners and losers, he likes picking losers. >> half of them, the ones invested in have gone out of business. >> jon: holy crap! is that true, half? 63 energy companies got significant federal stimulus money and three and a half years later five have gone bankrupt. so that is half, 50%, that's amazing. that's-- what? oh, that's not the same number, hold on-- oh, it's actually 8%, man. i really have to get a zune. (laughter) and then sell it and get a calculator. wow, 8% bankruptcy rate, still, maybe that doesn't sound so bad. but compare that to mitt romney, top-notch bain capital venture capitalist. >> "the wall street journal" did some digging for today's paper it looked as 77 businesses bain invested in while romney led the firm. 22% of those companies either filed for bankruptcy or closed 8 years after the bain invest
, the current state of the world, everyone was expecting some high drama during this week's session. >> and now to that showdown over iran. >> all eyes are on the united nation. >> fiery rhetoric from the iranian president. >> next up of course the showdown over iran. we'll see it all play out at the united nations. >> jon: it's on, world war iii, president obama opened so he had a chance to draw first blood. >> the iran yen government continues to prop up a dictator in damascus and supports terrorist group as broad. time and again it has failed to take the opportunity to demonstrates that nuclear program is peaceful. >> jon: oh yeah. here it come, people, president obama is going to be like, so it is 0800, bombing starts in an hour, who here wants to be in a coalition of the winning because we're about to [bleep] democracy! (cheers and applause) >> so let me be clear, america wants to resolve this issue through diplomacy. >> jon: diplomacy? you're johnnie jones a lot. dr. seal team 6. the guy who made sure there's no i in bin laden. (laughter) and suddenly you're up there practically quoting g
Search Results 0 to 44 of about 45 (some duplicates have been removed)

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